Constance Marten has denied causing her baby any harm, telling jurors “I did nothing but show her love”.
Marten, 36, who is from a wealthy family, and her partner Mark Gordon, 49, are on trial over the death of their newborn baby daughter Victoria.
Appearing in the dock for the first time, she told the court she felt “disbelief, shock and intense grief” when her baby died.
Giving evidence at the Old Bailey today Marten said: “I did nothing but show her love… I gave her the best (care) that anyone would have.”
She told jurors: “I don’t think it’s anything I will move on from. I feel guilty because she was in my arms. I feel like it’s not an easy thing to live with.”
A nationwide search was launched after a placenta was found in the couple’s burnt-out car by the motorway near Bolton, Greater Manchester, on 5 January 2023.
Prosecutors say they went on the run for 54 days, living off-grid in a tent on the South Downs in wintry conditions, because they wanted to keep their baby, as their previous four children had all been taken into care.
Victoria’s badly decomposed body was found in a Lidl bag inside an allotment shed in Brighton, East Sussex, on 1 March last year, days after the couple were arrested on 27 February.
Marten told police Victoria died when she fell asleep in the tent while holding her under her jacket, the court has heard.
While the cause of her death is “unascertained”, jurors have heard she could have died from the cold or co-sleeping.
The defendants, of no fixed address, deny manslaughter by gross negligence, perverting the course of justice, concealing the birth of a child, child cruelty and causing or allowing the death of a child.
The trial continues.